Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
