Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
