Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
