if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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