i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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