My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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