Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
