You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
