Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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