please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
