I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
