Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
