the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
