Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
