OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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