So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
