i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's the barista slut.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
