we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
