Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
