Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
