Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
