Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
