I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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