I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
