overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
