I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
