oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I had to cum in my sink.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
