it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
