Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
