i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
