the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
