Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
