look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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