Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
