Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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