let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
