This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
