There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
