she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Panties = found
Randomize
