Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
