Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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