The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
