Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
