On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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