protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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