If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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