I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
