i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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