not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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