yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
