Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
