I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he thought i was a dude.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
