both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
