yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
