I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
