the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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