I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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