And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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