Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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